Hierarchy

                                                      Watercolor by Amarie, Lady in Blue

Nowadays, we are faced with cohorts of young people who refuse to be directed at work, while parents and teachers struggle to maintain their authority and gain respect, unlike in the past. Human interactions have undergone a radical transformation; beyond a simple conflict between generations, authority has shifted to a dynamic based on friendship, listening, and humility. The elderly find themselves disoriented in the face of this unprecedented era where cohabiting in a society with transformed norms is the norm. For my part, I feel neither regret nor nostalgia for the past. What I miss is the preparation and understanding of young people in the face of socioeconomic upheavals. It is time to trade wise and experienced authority for the delicate art of inspiring enthusiasm, giving profound meaning to our choices to persuade the younger generation of the alignment of our actions with their own burgeoning values. We are trading hierarchical verticality for horizontality without warning. Most young generations aspire to escape at all costs from submission, dependency and loss of independence, harassment, stress, burnout, and lack of recognition. This quest for freedom is legitimate, but it can sometimes be taken to the extreme. You slam the door at work for any reason; a hint of disdain, a touch of indifference, choices that seem far-fetched, or even a categorical refusal to work remotely can be enough to push you out the door. At home, it's the same refrain: young people take off to conquer their independence or their identity. As soon as a disagreement arises, they take off. It is preferable for parents to cultivate a friendly relationship with their children rather than sticking to a strict authority role. They should promote collaboration and encourage autonomy with kindness and caution. In my opinion, an exemplary parent, just like a competent manager, must be able to make decisions, take decisive actions, and provide the guiding thread to maintain harmony within the family and ensure the sustainability of a business in an increasingly competitive world. Obviously, ethical, social, and environmental requirements demand increased transparency and the emergence of new forms of responsibility among the various actors involved. For some, these new constraints are sometimes seen as insurmountable mountains, especially when they radically oppose what prevailed in the past. Will this transformation be able to fulfill its commitments to shape a more enlightened society in the future? Companies will embark on management coaching with their employees, while in households, bonds will be woven in a friendly atmosphere, imbued with flexibility and warmth. Is this a reason to rejoice? Yes, of course, because when people are happy, admired, and respected, they are working in a better mental atmosphere to be more productive.

Shaping new friendships

 

                                                                  Watercolor by Amarie

Making new friendships in adulthood can feel like a real obstacle course; while as children it was enough to share a snack or a game to create bonds, things become more complicated over time. Why this increasing difficulty? As we age, our social circles become more stable but also more closed. Schooling, extracurricular activities, or early professional experiences offered numerous opportunities to meet people. Except that once these stages are over, opportunities for contact often decrease; according to experts, adults tend to maintain their existing friendships rather than actively seek out new ones. This stability is reassuring but can also limit new chance encounters. The effective remedy would be to join collective activities such as sports clubs, creative workshops, or associations to expand one's social circle. Evening classes or book clubs are excellent opportunities to forge new connections around shared interests. Because once you are fully immersed in the working life, between professional, family, and personal responsibilities, finding time to maintain relationships becomes more than complex. The energy that once could be dedicated to outings and new encounters is now being eaten away by increasingly overwhelming daily obligations. The constraints of time, organization, and the fatigue from daily work limit opportunities for social encounters. But it is a mistake not to regularly plan moments dedicated to our social relationships, even with a tight schedule. A simple coffee, a walk, or a phone call can already help rekindle a neglected connection. As we age, our heightened vigilance encourages us to grant our trust more cautiously. If this caution is legitimate, it nevertheless hinders new encounters. We are more concerned with finding people who share our values and interests. But we must keep in mind that we should not systematically reject other opportunities for connection. Sometimes the most unexpected friendships become the strongest with points of interest that one would have excluded. We must remain available and open to the people who cross our path by chance. As we get older, we actually become too selective. Past experiences, accumulated disappointments, and cooled expectations are now a heavy burden to bear. The fear of new disappointments, unexpected rejection, or experienced social discomfort can push us to remain confined in a comfort zone. Social media, which allows for a certain artificial contact, will never replace the richness of face-to-face interactions. Let's dare to start conversations with new people in everyday contexts: at the gym, in a new language class or any course, or in your neighborhood. A smile, an innocuous question, or an impromptu conversation can open the doors to a new friendship. Sometimes friendships require a lot of effort to be maintained; keeping in touch often demands a true commitment. The differences in lifestyle, relocations, career changes, or career breaks can distance loyal friends. Strengthening bonds through travel or a shared activity can make a difference. Making friends thus becomes more difficult as one gets older, but far from impossible. By becoming aware of the obstacles and adopting a simple strategy, in fact, each person can enrich their social circle. That said, it is also perfectly legitimate not to feel the need to forge new friendships. Each person defines their social relationships according to their desires, priorities, and well-being. 

Aging

                                                             watercolor by Amarie

The advances made in medicine, in terms of diagnostics, medications, and care, have allowed most individuals in the current generation to age in optimal physical and mental conditions. They are greatly pleased to be able to continue their lives in an almost normal manner, to participate in enriching activities, to benefit from rewarding social relationships, and to witness the growth in age and wisdom of their descendants. The evolution of aging is a natural phenomenon, and each bodily change constitutes an essential step in this journey. Changes such as wrinkling of the skin, the graying of the hair, and the alteration of the silhouette are inherent transformations of life. It is necessary to learn to embrace these changes rather than reject them. Wrinkles should not be seen as imperfections but rather as witnesses to the various emotions experienced, whether joyful, loving, or painful. The face, as a sculptural reproduction of life, bears the indelible marks of all emotions expressed upon it, thus testifying to our experiences like an open book. Each feature of the skin, each silver hair, and each scar are witnesses to moments of modest triumphs and his capacity for resilience.

At every stage of life, from early childhood to old age, our body demonstrates an impressive physical and mental capacity to perform feats, recover, and rebuild incredibly quickly. It is entirely possible to train and develop athletic skills even at an advanced age. By committing to regular practice, it's possible to improve physical performance, endurance, and athletic achievements. This body, through its ability to successfully meet numerous challenges, allows for unforgettable experiences and aging in good conditions.

A person's worth is not limited to their appearance but rather depends on their personality, core values, actions, and how they interact with others and the world around them. It is important not to be too hard on oneself when evaluating our actions in performances. Instead of being too hard on oneself, it is preferable to replace these self-evaluations with positive, reassuring, comforting, and kind words.

One must be attentive to surrounding oneself with people who value, regardless of their social class, race, origin, language, culture, or religion. The most important thing is to focus on healthy and positive relationships, where incessant criticism is absent and where one is appreciated without judgment or criticism, considering qualities, flaws, values, and beliefs and accepting them in their entirety. Aging is a period of life during which individuals gradually accumulate experience, wisdom, and depth. It is a phase of life where individuals can learn, grow, and develop a richer and more nuanced perspective through the various experiences lived over the years. Despite these inevitable physical changes, the spark of life inhabits them; this mysterious and immutable inner strength remains eternal, testifying to the vitality and resilience of the human being. It is important to adopt a calm and thoughtful approach to the natural process of aging. The latter should not be seen as a final stage but rather as the beginning of a journey towards deeper self-acceptance imbued with serenity and strength more intense than ever.

 

Insects rich in protein

 

What are the reasons behind the persistence of pesticide use and deforestation? I’m torturing myself with that question. The United Nations predicts that by 2050, the world's population will have grown to 9.7 billion. The developing countries will bear the brunt of this demographic boom. In these countries, increasing food production by at least 80% is essential to meet this demographic growth; doing so will lead to an increase in production, the number of crops, and the number of harvests per year. 

What is the procedure to follow? It's feasible to choose between cutting down primary forests, as seen in Brazil, Africa, and Borneo, with well-documented climate consequences, or using pesticides to reduce significant harvest losses. Without directly intervening in demography by becoming aware of the necessity to restrict human development, it would also be necessary to minimize the use of pesticides in agriculture in all cases. Now that we know it's feasible to make food without using toxic compounds, we can shift our focus to making foods from insects or legumes like beans, flageolets, and peas, which are rich in protein.

For reasons related to health, ecology, and economy, the practice of eating insects (entomophagy) has lately gained international attention. One of the most pressing issues facing the world today is ensuring a sustainable food supply. A variety of edible bug species can contribute significantly to ending food poverty due to their high protein, fat, mineral, vitamin, and fiber content. Entomophagy has many benefits, such as reducing environmental contamination, increasing the value of waste, and increasing the feed-conversion efficiency of insects. They can also be reared on organic side streams. Flying a beehive produces far less ammonia and greenhouse emissions and uses far less water and land than growing cattle. It would appear that the nutritional value of insects as a food source is on par with, or perhaps higher than, that of meat and poultry. One possible environmentally friendly way to produce food is through insect farming. Eating insects could help end global hunger since they are nutrient-dense and packed with calories. Eating insects could be a huge boon to the world's economy and environment in the future due to the abundance of beneficial micronutrients and high-quality protein they contain. Bugs could be a great food source in the West, but getting people to eat them is still a big challenge.

Friendship

                                                                  Watercolor by Amarie

Among all human emotions, it is friendship that holds the top spot in my heart. In my opinion, friendship surpasses love in depth, sincerity, and solidity, as it is based on a mutual bond of affection that is not conditioned by kinship or sexual attraction. It is a beautiful chemistry between two individuals, nourished by a deep mutual understanding and enriched by the discovery of passions and common interests. Friendship rarely rests on physical or mental affinities. It often rests on an alignment of shared beliefs. It can begin with a dance of mutual aid, a symphony of attentive listening, a ballet of exchanging advice, an orchestra of support, a choir of kind critiques, or a tableau of admiration. Friendship is like a breath of fresh air, a refuge where one can share passions, open up with complete trust, and regain self-esteem when it has been lost. Friendship is like a plant that grows over the seasons; it is cultivated with care, and it blooms, bringing warmth and light to our lives. A friendship is like a source of inspiration that opens the doors to discovery for us. True accomplices stand by our side to weather the storms and celebrate during moments of joy. Friends are like magical lanterns that illuminate our lives, offering us new perspectives and valuable advice from someone who understands us, respects us, and sometimes even cherishes us.

Demography surpasses

                               

                             collage by Amarie, sewing buttons representing flow of humans

In 1850, the population barely reached three billion. A hundred years later, in 1950, we had reached 4 billion. Which at the time represented an achievement that was welcomed with joy because it was a human victory, an immense progress : overcoming diseases, preventing premature deaths, correcting flaws with increasingly effective medicine, and extending life and its quality. We paid little attention to the flip side of the coin : annihilating natural selection and simultaneously depleting our genetic heritage. We knew very well that this galloping demography would be an exponential function that would explode one day like an atomic bomb. Thus, in less than 72 years, we have doubled our numbers to reach 8 billion. Today, we are unable to manage this growth and ensure the survival of food, drinking water, hygiene, breathable air, housing, clothing, medicine, care, and so on for all living beings (plants, animals, and humans) on the planet. We loudly proclaim that we must live more simply, recycle, and consume sparingly, but only a minority adheres to this, while we should collectively change our way of living. What a disaster it was to try to civilize the "savage" peoples living in harmony with nature. They have almost all disappeared, forgetting that they are capable of surviving in complete self-sufficiency without the polluting artifices of the modern world. Some claim that things will resolve themselves : famines, epidemics, decline in male virility, pollution, increased death from climate change, floods, more frequent natural disasters, etc. That the earth has already experienced disasters and has always recovered from them. It's not very encouraging to have to go through disasters before getting humans to act! The global population has experienced explosive growth over the centuries. Here are some key points summarizing its evolution.

Historical growth : In 1800, the world population was estimated to be between 813 million and 1.125 billion inhabitants. In 1900, it was approximately 1.55 to 1.76 billion. In 2000, it had reached approximately 6.1 billion.

Situation : In November 2022, the world's population had surpassed the 8 billion mark.

Future projections : According to the United Nations, the global population is expected to reach approximately 9.7 billion by 2050 and could approach 11 billion by 2100.

Distribution by continent : In 2022, Asia housed approximately 55.6 % of the world's population, followed by sub-Saharan Africa with 14.5 %, and Europe and North America with 14.1 %.

Character

The term "caractérielle" refers to an irascible person with a difficult temperament, constantly dissatisfied and incessantly complaining, frequently blaming others. It is a vulnerable, unpredictable, excessive, and irritable individual who can one day display a big smile and the next day sulk the entire day for no apparent reason. The slightest annoyance affects her mood, and she cannot control her emotions. Impulsively, they display exaggerated and inappropriate reactions to normal circumstances. Her selfish propensity drives her to repeat this behavior: the more she "unleashes" on others, the more it allows her to vent her anger. Indeed, she establishes her authority through this climate of fear: as long as no one dares to challenge her, she sees no need to question herself!

 It is not a pathological disorder but a behavioral disorder. An individual with a character disorder can be perceived as a moderately neurotic person. This behavior is frequently a defense mechanism stemming from childhood. Severe, exigent, and perfectionist parents may have served as a model even when they gave plenty of encouragement carefully because their immense need for compliments was insatiable. But it is mainly the lack of self-esteem, a high level of stress and anxiety, difficulties in regulating one's emotions, as well as a propensity for melancholy, even depression, that can paradoxically justify this attitude of defensive withdrawal. This behavior does not always manifest uniformly and presents in various degrees. The person can be simply irritable and moody but can also adopt a distinctly more toxic attitude. Authoritarian and contemptuous, they can also be insulting, aggressive, or even violent towards their close circle, who then feel as if they are living in a true daily hell. We are almost in the presence of a tormentor seeking a victim, instilling terror around them.

The person with a difficult character, even in their most tolerable and livable manifestations, reveals the worst side of their personality. Bitter, impatient, and negative, it was impossible to engage in a conversation with her or to be heard. Her relationships with her loved ones, whether family or professional, are often extremely tense. What is most difficult to endure, aside from the incessant criticism, is that the individual spreads an underlying bad mood to those around them. This creates an atmosphere of misunderstandings, injustices, and tensions. The moment is no longer conducive to resting or rejoicing. The tensions are constant and the conflicts frequent if the loved ones are ready to react. Opposite pitfall: others learn to withdraw to avoid provoking the temperamental one to avoid inciting their anger. They soften their words and speak with caution to communicate in a nuanced manner. At work, we adopt a discreet attitude to prevent the crisis. We wait for the storm to pass at home. We inevitably end up getting tired in the absence of rebellion. Coexisting with a person of difficult character proves particularly complex in the long term. Encouraging the individual to see a therapist appears to be the only viable solution. It is indeed difficult, without external assistance, to make someone aware of the toxicity of their behavior.

The person with a difficult character is in a state of denial. For her, it is others who are the problem. When the individual becomes aware of their identity and the influence of their actions on others, change becomes possible. Once the causes are identified, the effect diminishes quickly. The goal of therapy is to show the individual that this negative mood represents an insidious poison, both for others and for themselves. She can identify an approach to assert herself in a more constructive way.

Three recommendations to consider

1. Don't let your emotions take over in the face of this sudden anger that appears without warning. Breathe deeply and cut the conversation short by stating a simple observation: "It's a shame you feel that way." It's your opinion; I respect it but don't share it, and I leave the room to take a deep breath.

2. Avoid getting involved in the game of a person with a difficult temperament: the more you try to prove your point of view, the more it exacerbates their anger. If this person is not a close acquaintance, distance yourself from them. Otherwise, learn to distance yourself from their remarks without trying to oppose them.

3. Do not allow their behavior to influence yours! Responding to their bad mood with a similar attitude is a mistake, as it perpetuates the negative spiral. Instead, oppose her with humor to show her that it is possible to express things differently.

Silence

                                                    Lonely tree, collage and oil painting

                                                                          Amarie

Silence can be a deliverance. After my studies at university, I started working on the Belgian coast with a colleague, overwhelmed by a season in full swing. He was a cheerful individual, consistently in a positive mood, yet possessed an abundance of words. He did not stop for an entire day, being able to last hours of conversation without getting tired. Some talkative customers came to keep him company for a while, to sit in the chemist's shop, to have a chat, and to tell the latest jokes of the moment. Often he would embellish them with new items, making them funnier or more salacious to try to debauch me and make me blush under the pretext of opening my pure, ignorant, inexperienced ears to the real world. He passionately believed that my education, which was too serious for his taste, was to be perfected. Of course, working in this environment could be terribly frustrating because you did not have the opportunity to place a single word. At the end of the day, you had your head foggy with all his gossip, sensible, demented, and absurd verbiage. I would have given a fortune for him to be silent for even ten minutes to regain my senses and my concentration. Our days were already incredibly stressful due to the extra work, and a moment of silence would have been most beneficial. Silence allows us to replenish our energy. It lowers blood pressure, decreases stress and hormone levels, decreases anxiety, and promotes neuron growth. Afterwards, to de-stress from such tiring days by drawing and painting, silence promoted my creativity and serenity.

On the other hand, silence can become unpleasant, painful, and poisonous when one waits for an explanation or the outcome of a project. Sentences, ideas, and questions to that we expect answers, replies, and retorts never manage to hatch. The more time passes, the more the silence weighs on us, and the more painful, disagreeable, and frustrating it becomes. By dint of waiting, hoping, and wishing, we get disappointed; we drop in bitter disgust; we have disturbing dissatisfaction; and even a certain anger holds you by the throat.

Silence is the act of being peaceful, listening, and saying nothing to reflect on ourselves and abandon prejudices. Silence is a way to communicate when feelings are difficult to express and there is a fear of being misunderstood. This can help avoid misunderstandings and conflicts on topics that are not worth discussing. Words spoken in anger can be regretted and cause deep, ineffaceable harm. It is often said that words are silver and silence is golden. Speech is considered less noble than silence because it can lead to confusion, error, or conflicts, while silence allows for listening, observing, and feeling. Silence can thus serve as a basis for achieving inner peace and mastery of one's thoughts.

It took time to understand that there is a lack of emotional education in some individuals to express their feelings. Not knowing how to manage emotions such as anger and sadness, they take refuge in silence. I am convinced that it is a hundred times better than enduring their repressed feelings that explode without control.

Spiritual life and bouddhisme

In our Western societies, many topics were considered taboo in social exchanges: the revelation of one's religious practices or beliefs, affiliation with a political party, discussion of one's intimate life and sexual orientations, disclosure of one's salary, budget, or investment income, etc. It was inappropriate to discuss these subjects with others due to their untimely nature and the risk of conflict.

The Western world, primarily composed of followers of the Catholic, Protestant, or Jewish faiths, is gradually witnessing the decline of these beliefs in favor of other denominations. The main catalyst for the decline of the influence of the Catholic Church was the Second Vatican Council, which took place from 1962 to 1965. Supposed to bring modernization to the church, this initiative nevertheless led to a sudden break in religious practice. This change has led to a completely different perception of worship, now less considered an indispensable social and moral duty. Most believers do not completely abandon their faith but set aside the practices taught for decades, and part of their convictions is brutally shattered. Recently, the church has been shaken by sexual conflicts, and numerous dubious practices within its institutions have come to light. Which only poisoned an already very precarious situation.

What stands out to me now is that the three predominant religions - Judaism, Catholicism, and Islam - coexisted in Palestine, yet they are now the source of enduring conflict. Every faith possesses a distinct location in Jerusalem. The Temple Mount, also known as Mount Moriah, holds religious significance for the Jewish people. According to the Bible, Solomon's temple contained the Tablets of the Law and the Ark of the Covenant. The Holy Sepulchre is venerated by Christians as it contains the tomb of Jesus Christ, where he is thought to have been interred following his crucifixion. The Temple Mount, situated in the same location as the Al-Aqsa Mosque, is the third most sacred site for Muslims, following Mecca and Medina. This is the location where the prophet Muhammad is believed to have ascended on a winged horse to encounter Allah. Would it not be fitting to compare these three faiths and coexist in a state of universal tranquility? Historically, numerous religions have instigated protracted and violent conflicts; why not pursue a spiritual existence that honors humanity and nature and ensures tranquility?

The Buddhist monks are engaged in tranquil meditation, immersed in prayer and intense contemplation on the nature of their existence. This practice is frequently regarded as a philosophy, a religion, and a lifestyle simultaneously. Philosophy provides profound contemplation on the essence of existence, suffering, and the journey toward awakening or enlightenment. The Buddha imparted teachings like the Four Noble Truths and the Noble Eightfold Path, which serve as frameworks for ethical living and deep comprehension of reality. It qualifies as a religion due to its fulfillment of conventional religious functions, including rites and ceremonies. It encompasses ideas regarding reincarnation, karma, and spiritual entities like the Buddha and the bodhisattvas. Ultimately, it constitutes a way of life because of its pronounced focus on daily practice and personal growth. Meditation, compassion, ethics, and wisdom are elements incorporated into the daily routines of practitioners. Buddhism, as a lifestyle, can serve as a source of happiness, well-being, and joy. This faith originated in India between the 6th and 5th centuries BCE and has persisted through the millennia to the present day. In nations where Buddhism has established itself, it coexists harmoniously with other faiths: Confucianism (Southeast Asia), Taoism (China), Shinto (Japan), and Bön (Tibet). Buddhism remains fundamentally a philosophical, mythical, and ritualistic framework. It does not depend on supernatural revelation, a creator deity, or sacred texts, which enhances its durability over time.

Optimism

                                                          

                                                  Watercolor by Amarie made in Salzburg

Optimism is a conquest, a choice of life, a decision that at a given moment we can choose to make or not to make to give meaning to everything that happens to us. Optimism is a strategy to positively build one's future, but if misused or taken to excess, it can cause more suffering than anything else due to the disappointment it can bring. Optimism is the key to joy and often a lock against sadness. However, we cannot deny what sometimes happens to us without warning, such as the death of a loved one. So, on the contrary, it is necessary to leave the door open for sadness to express itself. Otherwise, repressed and unacknowledged sadness will surely not be a source of balance and joy but rather of stress and unhealthy tension.

Hauser & Dimash

In the nineties, when Starmania, composed by Michel Berger, was released, I listened to that moving composition "Only the Very Best," sung in English by Peter Kingsbery, and the French version, "SOS, pour un terrien en détresse," sung by Daniel Balavoine. Nothing to do with the version by Dimash Qudaibergen accompanied by the cello of Croatian virtuoso Stjepan Hauser. When I listen to this idyllic music, I get chills, I am deeply moved, and I literally melt into tears in front of so much talent and beauty. Dimash is particularly endowed with an impressive vocal range, covering more than seven octaves, practically the extent of my piano, which I played a long time, from the low la0 of the lowest register (bass) to the highest notes of the soprano register up to the whistle register re8. He is capable of transitioning from the pop register to the lyrical register very quickly, producing melismas and very complex vocal figures without apparent difficulty, and he also masters the whistle voice, which is the highest register of the human vocal range and considered the most extensive in the world. I am astounded; I close my eyes, unable to believe that these sounds originate from a single person. I feel as though I'm dreaming.  As for Hauser, the talented, rebellious virtuoso. Listen to his Adagio by Albinoni; it's fantastic, marvelous, and emotional. There are no words great enough to describe this talent.

Fidelity

                                                                Ink drawing by Amarie

It's a hollow idea, a blind human vanity, as if one possessed something, as if one believed oneself to be immortal, as if one were. Everything is vanity, nothing but vanity, said Bossuet.

Now, while writing my family's story, I realized how much I had come to love them. A great love that is usually reserved only for one's own family: my daughters, my son, my husband, and my grandchildren. Long before, I knew that when I held them in my arms, this fervor would fade away. This filial love gradually faded starting from my sister's marriage, more brutally with my brother's, and completely disappeared with the death of my parents. Thus, I fortuitously came to know the cruelty of denial and the family's everlasting disdain from the moment my brother became engaged to his beloved. Despite the overwhelming adulation of his mother, the unconditional love of his sisters, and his father's demonstration of attachment by preparing boxes of non-perishable food every month with clockwork regularity,. We will never see them again; we will know nothing more about them; we will never share any celebrations or feelings; we will no longer learn about any family events, whether happy, sad, or joyful. I felt a deep sorrow, especially at the thought of knowing what strong lie they managed to invent to quell any desire to meet us, to know us, and to deprive their children of the affection we could have shown them. Were we to be cursed to that extent, and for what reason?

Father, adored by so many, died ignored, abandoned, and forsaken by his own son. My sadness and my tears were of no use, not even to soothe me.

As for my children, since they were little, I know that this warmth will abandon me, that these bodies I caress with so much maternal love, I know they will leave; I have known this fear from the beginning. With friends, I know this absence nestled in the most tender arms, this solitude where you are left even if you are loved, where you end up being left, even if you come back, this solitude and this regret that are sometimes shared. Of course, that's life; loyalty crumbles and melts like snow in the sun. What a gamble to believe it is stronger than time! Moreover, do we ask a child to remain faithful to their mother because they lived in her womb? Do we demand from them eternally this recognition, stupid and vain: the recognition of the womb? Go, my little ones, go without remorse; I know you love me; why would I add the bonds of blood and skin to the thousand genetic chains that already bind us?

The bond between the children and me is my husband. As children, I watched them seize the paternal body, assault it, climb onto its back, and throw themselves around its neck and into its arms, shouting with joy. The charmed father lets them do as they please; he offers them everything. They pull his ears, stick their fingers in his nostrils, jump on his belly, and pummel him with little punches; the father is a conquered territory. Every time the mother watches her children's game, she loves her husband. You must understand, couples, despite themselves, stay together for the children. You shouldn't be jaded; it's a perpetual surprise, a marvel that a man made possible. Making love, having a child—isn't that more than enough to justify the bonds of marriage, to keep them tight? Here lies the immense power of progeny, beyond fidelity, to strengthen family bonds. The discovery-hungry adolescents will gradually free themselves from the bonds as they embark on the winding paths of their own lives, only to return on their steps with graying temples.

This is an extract of my book "Quatre Siècles" by my pseudonym, Elisa Grindale edited by Baudelaire

Luck and Happiness

                                                             Watercolor painted by Amarie

    Luck

It is of no use

to cheer or to grumble

you see the flowers you pick

  still wither in time

The great art always lurks

In dealing with your chances

When luck comes your way

Then you have to dance with it

Toon Herman

Happiness

Throughout my life, the question of my happiness has rarely arisen for me. It is well known that happiness is made up of moments of experienced happiness and that moments of sorrow, illness, torment, or misfortune are just as transient as happiness. On the other hand, I argue that happiness initially relies on favorable circumstances such as the chance—though I hesitate to use this term—of being born into a specific geographical, national, familial, and environmental context and evolving in a middle social environment with favorable origins, healthy values, and genes free from major defects. Having a fulfilling social life is an essential element for psychological well-being and a sense of personal satisfaction. Having financially stable, balanced, intelligent parents who are in good physical and mental health becomes a major advantage. When they also possess a pure heart capable of appreciating beauty in all aspects of human life, such as music, painting, sculpture, singing, architecture, and the sciences, one feels immense happiness without necessarily being aware of it. Then, the situation takes a more personal turn.

Each of us is unique and has an individual perception of life. Happiness resides within us; it is extremely delicate and can shatter at any moment. Vigilance and tolerance are essential elements to permanently sustain the existence of this treasure. For the adult, happiness was associated with fulfilling obligations towards their parents, their work, their spouse, and their children. We dedicated many hours each week to our work, household chores, and gardening. However, this constraint was largely offset by the pleasure of sharing family sports activities such as horseback riding, as well as the possibility of going on vacation as a couple. Quickly overcoming torments and trials, without fearing the worst sufferings, allows one to lead a life of unparalleled depth and to bring forth a vitality and inner strength to work towards one's own fulfillment. It is undeniable that a life without difficulties or obstacles does not exist; it goes without saying that happiness is a precious and authentic treasure that is not found in a life of idleness and ease.

To achieve happiness, it is essential to distance oneself from harmful relationships, toxic environments, harmful gossip, and malicious individuals. Being able to give more than to receive and to face criticism and jealousy. I have observed that basic social interactions, such as affectionate exchanges or everyday friendly conversations, could have a notable impact on my quality of life. It is emotional satisfaction that will guide me in making wise decisions and lead me towards true success. Thus, happiness is closely linked to the core of judgments and living conditions that promote attentive and thoughtful voluntary activity. In other words, it is possible to assert that our happiness partly depends on our perceptions and interpretations. It is undeniable that material conditions have a certain influence on our authentic well-being. It is unlikely that one will achieve happiness while constantly facing financial difficulties. Fortunately, a divorce or a tragic event should not have a lasting effect on our well-being. In both situations, the body is subjected to a level of stress similar to that caused by a positive event. The body does not distinguish between positive stress and negative stress, that is, between eustress and distress. Living conditions have a limited impact on us due to the great adaptability of our bodies. This is encouraging news: external circumstances, which are beyond our control, have a minimal impact on our long-term well-being!

This does not explain why my two grandfathers lost their lives in a fit of distress and why I feel a great cold falling on me due to the abandonment of a person who was very close to my soul. With the heightened sensitivity of my age, I will never get over it again.

Flowers touch the heart where words can no longer reach it!

L'Elephant d'Afrique

 

Best photo of this century

A lioness and her cub were crossing the savannah, but the heat was excessive, and the lion cub was in great difficulty. An elephant realized that the cub was dying and carried it with its trunk to a puddle, walking next to its mother.
And they are called wild animals!

From a very young age, I have been fascinated by this African animal. This animal is remarkable in many ways. Its imposing size and the distinctive presence of its proboscis, equipped with two membranes at its tip, make it remarkable, like two skilled human fingers. Its weight can reach 8 tons. Unfortunately, it is frequently poached because of its precious tusks, which are essential for its food and protection. In these herds, it is the leadership that is provided by the females, setting up a system of matriarchy, a social structure that differs from that observed in the human species, where domination is often exercised by males.

The horses we kept at home consumed about 10 liters of water per day, a negligible amount compared to the 150 liters an elephant needs to drink. Regarding plant-based food, elephants consume between 200 and 300 kg, while our horses are satisfied with 5 kg of grains and prairie grass. The horses received regular care, including grooming, deworming, and vaccinations, which contributed to their average lifespan of 30 years. Elephants must rely on their acquired immunity to face the various dangers present in the savanna and the forest. That is why they can only reproduce at the age of 30, even though they reach sexual maturity around the age of 12. Their average lifespan is around 70 years, but they can live up to 100 years. The expression "to have an elephant's memory" comes from these animals' remarkable ability to recognize places and individuals even after many years.

Following my marriage, I started a collection of elephant figurines. On every trip or getaway, I made it a habit to look for souvenirs in local shops to bring back a representative piece from the country or region I visited. Over the years, my collection gradually grew to an impressive number of over a hundred pieces. A part of it has been arranged in niches located in the entrance hall of our new residence. The visitors, in turn, are fascinated by this colorful collection of the pachyderm that welcomes them.

Currently, due to the famine caused by the long period of drought in Southern Africa, I came across an article discussing the strategies implemented by African countries to address this issue. I must admit that this news deeply moved and disturbed me, to the point of preventing me from sleeping the following night.

In August 2024, the Namibian government recently announced its plan to cull 83 elephants, 30 hippos, 60 buffaloes, 50 impalas, 100 blue wildebeests, 300 zebras, and elands on its territory. The government's decision to task professional hunters with the culling of these wild animals is motivated by the goal of providing meat to distribute to the population in food insecurity. The country has been impacted by a severe drought that has led to the devastation of food stocks and crops. It is anticipated that 50% of the population will face food shortages in the coming months. The number of animals in parks and protected areas exceeds that of animals in pastures and water reserves. The 157 animals that were sacrificed generated a total yield of 57,000 kg of meat. Wildlife protection advocates have strongly criticized this disastrous hunting program and have launched a petition to demand its immediate cessation. No environmental impact assessment or precise animal census has been conducted. We must understand that human subsistence takes precedence over that of animals, of course, but it's so sad to have to come to this.

The Beguinage (Bruges, west Flanders, Belgium)

                                               Narrow street in Bruges, watercolor by Amarie

In this sanctuary of tranquility and quietude, isolated from the city by a fortified wall, resided beguines, liberated, secular women who had pledged celibacy. It was a lifestyle originating in the Middle Ages, created by women for women who resided there independently, free from the constraints of an excessively rigid religious existence and within a non-mixed society. These locations enabled women to reside independently in their own dwellings, away from the patriarchal domains to which they would have been compelled. The regulations instituted in 1300 mandated the prioritization of a beguine's life centered on prayer, work, and self-denial (orare, laborare, pati), while adhering to the principles of chastity and obedience. These desires were arbitrary, as they could depart at any moment. The contemplative essence of prayer, a specific discipline of the apostolate, numerous days of fasting, and moderation evoke the notion of a monastic existence without actually embodying it. The adherence to these commandments was deliberated each night prior to retiring. The administration of the beguinage consisted of a parish priest, a grand mistress, a vice-grandmistress, and four young lady councillors, elected for a term of three years (excluding the parish priest). Men, including the parish priest, were prohibited from entering the beguinage after 7 p.m. He resided in the presbytery constructed beyond the wall. To be a beguine, one needed to be affluent or of noble lineage, as all expenses were covered by the community. The beguines were required to compensate the priest and the four chaplains. The Beguines possessed substantial assets, including residences such as the infirmary and the choir (schola cantorum), generating significant money. In addition to helping, they were significantly engaged in the sale of embroidery and lace.

The Gothic-style church, encircled by white-painted homes, is situated around a central wooded park, which is encompassed by a massive carriage gate that serves as the sole entrance, locked from dark up to dawn. The 15th-century chapel and infirmary border the residence of the Grand Mistress. The Beguinage of Bruges, akin to other ecclesiastical establishments, was dissolved by the French Revolutionary Administration at the close of the eighteenth century, and in 1799 its assets were transferred to the Commission of Public Hospices. Two daughters of de Meese, originating from a devout family, became beguines following the tribulations of French and Dutch rule.

Subsequent to the Concordat of 1801, established between the Pope and Napoleon I, which governed the operations of both Protestant and Catholic churches, pastors were henceforth compensated by the state. Beginning in 1803, a semblance of tranquility was reestablished in the beguinage, gradually restoring the norms and mores of everyday life, though not entirely replicating the illustrious time of the 17th and 18th centuries.

Currently, the Beguinage is occupied by nuns of the Order of St. Benedict and a few single women from Bruges. The Beguinage is designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

I strongly endorse a visit to this charming location in Bruges; you will not be disappointed.