Shaping new friendships

 

                                                                  Watercolor by Amarie

Making new friendships in adulthood can feel like a real obstacle course; while as children it was enough to share a snack or a game to create bonds, things become more complicated over time. Why this increasing difficulty? As we age, our social circles become more stable but also more closed. Schooling, extracurricular activities, or early professional experiences offered numerous opportunities to meet people. Except that once these stages are over, opportunities for contact often decrease; according to experts, adults tend to maintain their existing friendships rather than actively seek out new ones. This stability is reassuring but can also limit new chance encounters. The effective remedy would be to join collective activities such as sports clubs, creative workshops, or associations to expand one's social circle. Evening classes or book clubs are excellent opportunities to forge new connections around shared interests. Because once you are fully immersed in the working life, between professional, family, and personal responsibilities, finding time to maintain relationships becomes more than complex. The energy that once could be dedicated to outings and new encounters is now being eaten away by increasingly overwhelming daily obligations. The constraints of time, organization, and the fatigue from daily work limit opportunities for social encounters. But it is a mistake not to regularly plan moments dedicated to our social relationships, even with a tight schedule. A simple coffee, a walk, or a phone call can already help rekindle a neglected connection. As we age, our heightened vigilance encourages us to grant our trust more cautiously. If this caution is legitimate, it nevertheless hinders new encounters. We are more concerned with finding people who share our values and interests. But we must keep in mind that we should not systematically reject other opportunities for connection. Sometimes the most unexpected friendships become the strongest with points of interest that one would have excluded. We must remain available and open to the people who cross our path by chance. As we get older, we actually become too selective. Past experiences, accumulated disappointments, and cooled expectations are now a heavy burden to bear. The fear of new disappointments, unexpected rejection, or experienced social discomfort can push us to remain confined in a comfort zone. Social media, which allows for a certain artificial contact, will never replace the richness of face-to-face interactions. Let's dare to start conversations with new people in everyday contexts: at the gym, in a new language class or any course, or in your neighborhood. A smile, an innocuous question, or an impromptu conversation can open the doors to a new friendship. Sometimes friendships require a lot of effort to be maintained; keeping in touch often demands a true commitment. The differences in lifestyle, relocations, career changes, or career breaks can distance loyal friends. Strengthening bonds through travel or a shared activity can make a difference. Making friends thus becomes more difficult as one gets older, but far from impossible. By becoming aware of the obstacles and adopting a simple strategy, in fact, each person can enrich their social circle. That said, it is also perfectly legitimate not to feel the need to forge new friendships. Each person defines their social relationships according to their desires, priorities, and well-being.