Optimism

                                                          

                                                  Watercolor by Amarie made in Salzburg

Optimism is a conquest, a choice of life, a decision that at a given moment we can choose to make or not to make to give meaning to everything that happens to us. Optimism is a strategy to positively build one's future, but if misused or taken to excess, it can cause more suffering than anything else due to the disappointment it can bring. Optimism is the key to joy and often a lock against sadness. However, we cannot deny what sometimes happens to us without warning, such as the death of a loved one. So, on the contrary, it is necessary to leave the door open for sadness to express itself. Otherwise, repressed and unacknowledged sadness will surely not be a source of balance and joy but rather of stress and unhealthy tension.

Hauser & Dimash

Hauser and Dimash

In the nineties, when Starmania, composed by Michel Berger, was released, I listened to that moving composition "Only the Very Best", sung in English by Peter Kingsbery, and the French version, "SOS, pour un terrien en détresse", sung by Daniel Balavoine. This version is completely different from the one by Dimash Qudaibergen, which features the cello played by Croatian virtuoso Stjepan Hauser. When I listen to this idyllic music, I get chills, I am deeply moved, and I literally melt into tears in front of so much talent and beauty. Dimash is particularly endowed with an impressive vocal range, covering more than seven octaves, practically the extent of my piano, which I played a long time, from the low la0 of the lowest register (bass) to the highest notes of the soprano register up to the whistle register re8. He is capable of transitioning from the pop register to the lyrical register rapidly, producing melismas and very complex vocal figures without apparent difficulty, and he also masters the whistle voice, which is the highest register of the human vocal range and considered the most extensive in the world. I am astounded; I close my eyes, unable to believe that these sounds originate from a single person. I feel as though I'm dreaming. Hauser is a talented and rebellious virtuoso. Listen to his Adagio by Albinoni; it's fantastic, marvellous, and emotional. There are no words powerful enough to describe this talent.

Fidelity

                                                                Ink drawing by Amarie

It's a hollow idea, a blind human vanity, as if one possessed something, as if one believed oneself to be immortal, as if one were. Everything is vanity, nothing but vanity, said Bossuet.

Now, while writing my family's story, I realised how much I had come to love them. A great love that is usually reserved only for one's own family: my daughters, my son, my husband, and my grandchildren. Long before, I knew that when I held them in my arms, this fervour would fade away. This filial love gradually faded, starting from my sister's marriage, more brutally with my brother's, and completely disappeared with the death of my parents. Thus, I fortuitously came to know the cruelty of denial and the family's everlasting disdain from the moment my brother became engaged to his beloved. Despite the overwhelming adulation of his mother, the unconditional love of his sisters, and his father's demonstration of attachment by preparing boxes of non-perishable food every month with clockwork regularity. We will never see them again; we will know nothing more about them; we will never share any celebrations or feelings; we will no longer learn about any family events, whether happy, sad, or joyful. I felt a deep sorrow, especially at the thought of knowing what strong lie they managed to invent to quell any desire to meet us, to know us, and to deprive their children of the affection we could have shown them. Were we to be cursed to that extent, and for what reason?

Father, adored by so many, died ignored, abandoned, and forsaken by his own son. My sadness and my tears were of no use, not even to soothe me.

As for my children, since they were little, I have known that this warmth will abandon me, that these bodies I caress with so much maternal love, I know they will leave; I have known this fear from the beginning. With friends, I know this absence nestled in the most tender arms; this solitude where you are left even if you are loved, where you end up being left even if you come back; this solitude and this regret that are sometimes shared. Of course, that's life; loyalty crumbles and melts like snow in the sun. What a gamble to believe it is stronger than time! Moreover, do we ask a child to remain faithful to their mother because they lived in her womb? Do we demand from them eternally this recognition, stupid and vain: the recognition of the womb? Go, my little ones, go without remorse; I know you love me; why would I add the bonds of blood and skin to the thousand genetic chains that already bind us?

The bond between the children and me is my husband. As children, I watched them seize the paternal body, assault it, climb onto its back, and throw themselves around its neck and into its arms, shouting with joy. The charmed father lets them do as they please; he offers them everything. They pull his ears, stick their fingers in his nostrils, jump on his belly, and pummelled him with little punches; the father is a conquered territory. Every time the mother watches her children's game, she loves her husband. You must understand couples, despite themselves, stay together for the children. You shouldn't be jaded; it's a perpetual surprise, a marvel that a man made possible. Making love, having a child—isn't that more than enough to justify the bonds of marriage, to keep them tight? Here lies the immense power of progeny, beyond fidelity, to strengthen family bonds. The discovery-hungry adolescents will gradually free themselves from the bonds as they embark on the winding paths of their own lives, only to retrace their steps with greying temples.

This is an extract of my book "Quatre Siècles" by my pseudonym, Elisa Grindale edited by Baudelaire

Luck and Happiness

                                                             Watercolor painted by Amarie

    Luck

It is of no use

to cheer or to grumble

you see the flowers you pick

  still wither in time

The great art always lurks

In dealing with your chances

When luck comes your way

Then you have to dance with it

Toon Herman

Happiness

Throughout my life, the question of my happiness has rarely arisen for me. It is well known that happiness is made up of moments of experienced happiness and that moments of sorrow, illness, torment, or misfortune are just as transient as happiness. On the other hand, I argue that happiness initially relies on favorable circumstances such as the chance—though I hesitate to use this term—of being born into a specific geographical, national, familial, and environmental context and evolving in a middle social environment with favorable origins, healthy values, and genes free from major defects. Having a fulfilling social life is an essential element for psychological well-being and a sense of personal satisfaction. Having financially stable, balanced, intelligent parents who are in good physical and mental health becomes a major advantage. When they also possess a pure heart capable of appreciating beauty in all aspects of human life, such as music, painting, sculpture, singing, architecture, and the sciences, one feels immense happiness without necessarily being aware of it. Then, the situation takes a more personal turn.

Each of us is unique and has an individual perception of life. Happiness resides within us; it is extremely delicate and can shatter at any moment. Vigilance and tolerance are essential elements to permanently sustain the existence of this treasure. For the adult, happiness was associated with fulfilling obligations towards their parents, their work, their spouse, and their children. We dedicated many hours each week to our work, household chores, and gardening. However, this constraint was largely offset by the pleasure of sharing family sports activities such as horseback riding, as well as the possibility of going on vacation as a couple. Quickly overcoming torments and trials, without fearing the worst sufferings, allows one to lead a life of unparalleled depth and to bring forth a vitality and inner strength to work towards one's own fulfillment. It is undeniable that a life without difficulties or obstacles does not exist; it goes without saying that happiness is a precious and authentic treasure that is not found in a life of idleness and ease.

To achieve happiness, it is essential to distance oneself from harmful relationships, toxic environments, harmful gossip, and malicious individuals. Being able to give more than to receive and to face criticism and jealousy. I have observed that basic social interactions, such as affectionate exchanges or everyday friendly conversations, could have a notable impact on my quality of life. It is emotional satisfaction that will guide me in making wise decisions and lead me towards true success. Thus, happiness is closely linked to the core of judgments and living conditions that promote attentive and thoughtful voluntary activity. In other words, it is possible to assert that our happiness partly depends on our perceptions and interpretations. It is undeniable that material conditions have a certain influence on our authentic well-being. It is unlikely that one will achieve happiness while constantly facing financial difficulties. Fortunately, a divorce or a tragic event should not have a lasting effect on our well-being. In both situations, the body is subjected to a level of stress similar to that caused by a positive event. The body does not distinguish between positive stress and negative stress, that is, between eustress and distress. Living conditions have a limited impact on us due to the great adaptability of our bodies. This is encouraging news: external circumstances, which are beyond our control, have a minimal impact on our long-term well-being!

This does not explain why my two grandfathers lost their lives in a fit of distress and why I feel a great cold falling on me due to the abandonment of a person who was very close to my soul. With the heightened sensitivity of my age, I will never get over it again.

Flowers touch the heart where words can no longer reach it!

L'Elephant d'Afrique

 

Best photo of this century

A lioness and her cub were crossing the savannah, but the heat was excessive, and the lion cub was in great difficulty. An elephant realized that the cub was dying and carried it with its trunk to a puddle, walking next to its mother.
And they are called wild animals!

From a very young age, I have been fascinated by this African animal. This animal is remarkable in many ways. Its imposing size and the distinctive presence of its proboscis, equipped with two membranes at its tip, make it remarkable, like two skilled human fingers. Its weight can reach 8 tons. Unfortunately, it is frequently poached because of its precious tusks, which are essential for its food and protection. In these herds, it is the leadership that is provided by the females, setting up a system of matriarchy, a social structure that differs from that observed in the human species, where domination is often exercised by males.

The horses we kept at home consumed about 10 liters of water per day, a negligible amount compared to the 150 liters an elephant needs to drink. Regarding plant-based food, elephants consume between 200 and 300 kg, while our horses are satisfied with 5 kg of grains and prairie grass. The horses received regular care, including grooming, deworming, and vaccinations, which contributed to their average lifespan of 30 years. Elephants must rely on their acquired immunity to face the various dangers present in the savanna and the forest. That is why they can only reproduce at the age of 30, even though they reach sexual maturity around the age of 12. Their average lifespan is around 70 years, but they can live up to 100 years. The expression "to have an elephant's memory" comes from these animals' remarkable ability to recognize places and individuals even after many years.

Following my marriage, I started a collection of elephant figurines. On every trip or getaway, I made it a habit to look for souvenirs in local shops to bring back a representative piece from the country or region I visited. Over the years, my collection gradually grew to an impressive number of over a hundred pieces. A part of it has been arranged in niches located in the entrance hall of our new residence. The visitors, in turn, are fascinated by this colorful collection of the pachyderm that welcomes them.

Currently, due to the famine caused by the long period of drought in Southern Africa, I came across an article discussing the strategies implemented by African countries to address this issue. I must admit that this news deeply moved and disturbed me, to the point of preventing me from sleeping the following night.

In August 2024, the Namibian government recently announced its plan to cull 83 elephants, 30 hippos, 60 buffaloes, 50 impalas, 100 blue wildebeests, 300 zebras, and elands on its territory. The government's decision to task professional hunters with the culling of these wild animals is motivated by the goal of providing meat to distribute to the population in food insecurity. The country has been impacted by a severe drought that has led to the devastation of food stocks and crops. It is anticipated that 50% of the population will face food shortages in the coming months. The number of animals in parks and protected areas exceeds that of animals in pastures and water reserves. The 157 animals that were sacrificed generated a total yield of 57,000 kg of meat. Wildlife protection advocates have strongly criticized this disastrous hunting program and have launched a petition to demand its immediate cessation. No environmental impact assessment or precise animal census has been conducted. We must understand that human subsistence takes precedence over that of animals, of course, but it's so sad to have to come to this.

The Beguinage (Bruges, west Flanders, Belgium)

                                               Narrow street in Bruges, watercolor by Amarie

In this sanctuary of tranquillity and quietude, isolated from the city by a fortified wall, resided beguines, liberated, secular women who had pledged celibacy. It was a lifestyle originating in the Middle Ages, created by women for women who resided there independently, free from the constraints of an excessively rigid religious existence and within a non-mixed society. These locations enabled women to reside independently in their own dwellings, away from the patriarchal domains to which they would have been compelled. The regulations instituted in 1300 mandated the prioritisation of a beguine's life centred on prayer, work, and self-denial (orare, laborare, pati), while adhering to the principles of chastity and obedience. These desires were arbitrary, as they could depart at any moment. The contemplative essence of prayer, a specific discipline of the apostolate, numerous days of fasting, and moderation evoke the notion of a monastic existence without actually embodying it. The adherence to these commandments was deliberated each night prior to retiring. The administration of the beguinage consisted of a parish priest, a grand mistress, a vice-grandmistress, and four young lady councillors, elected for a term of three years (excluding the parish priest). Men, including the parish priest, were prohibited from entering the beguinage after 7 p.m. He resided in the presbytery constructed beyond the wall. To be a beguine, one needed to be affluent or of noble lineage, as all expenses were covered by the community. The beguines were required to compensate the priest and the four chaplains. The Beguines possessed substantial assets, including residences such as the infirmary and the choir (schola cantorum), generating significant money. In addition to helping, they were significantly engaged in the sale of embroidery and lace.

The Gothic-style church, encircled by white-painted homes, is situated around a central wooded park, which is encompassed by a massive carriage gate that serves as the sole entrance, locked from dark up to dawn. The 15th-century chapel and infirmary border the residence of the Grand Mistress. The Beguinage of Bruges, akin to other ecclesiastical establishments, was dissolved by the French Revolutionary Administration at the close of the eighteenth century, and in 1799 its assets were transferred to the Commission of Public Hospices. Two daughters of de Meese, originating from a devout family, became beguines following the tribulations of French and Dutch rule.

Subsequent to the Concordat of 1801, established between the Pope and Napoleon I, which governed the operations of both Protestant and Catholic churches, pastors were, henceforth, compensated by the state. Beginning in 1803, a semblance of tranquillity was re-established in the beguinage, gradually restoring the norms and mores of everyday life, though not entirely replicating the illustrious time of the 17th and 18th centuries.

Currently, the Beguinage is occupied by nuns of the Order of St Benedict and a few single women from Bruges. The Beguinage is designated as a UNESCO World Heritage Site.

I strongly endorse a visit to this charming location in Bruges; you will not be disappointed. 

 

QUATRE SIECLES - Elisa GRINDALE (pseudo) - Baudelaire 24/9/25 - HISTORY, Family de Meese

                                                   

Code ISBN 979-10-203-7549-0

HISTORY

Hachette Distribution (Dilicom)

"Four Centuries" traces the search for the author's ancestral family past, conducted using the earliest official church archives dating back to the 17th century. This essay is the result of ten years of research and two years of writing. Illustrative reefs, a biography, and supplementary texts complete the story of a war diary. Enriched with anecdotal events, the work surprisingly yet skillfully combines the family genealogy of French and Belgian Flanders, the two being closely linked.

The accumulation of archives and a keen curiosity about the ancestral family past gave birth to this unusual essay that traces the thread of history over four centuries. The adventure is guaranteed to be fascinating, filled with strong emotions combining joys, sorrows, pains, astonishments, and sometimes the ultimate surprise of discovering an ancestor or a notable forebear like Guido Gezelle, a well-known Flemish poet. Guido Gezelle was a multifaceted individual. In addition to being a poet, he was also a journalist, teacher, linguist, translator, and priest.

Elisa Grindale is a bilingual Belgian. Since her tender childhood, she had been immersed in the duality of two languages and two cultures constantly clashing socially and politically. This ambiguity has been conducive to the development of open-mindedness and a broader tolerance for global diversity. More oriented to science and mathematics, nothing disposed the author to write late. However, irrepressible forces led her towards an unexpected desire to write family history in order to ward off the fate of heritage extinction.

If we don't know where we're going, we can find out where we've come from! Today, everyone can, in a few clicks, go back to the origins, the way of life, and the historical environment of the characters who marked the ancestral history of their family. Then follows a long-term work of rigor, patience, precision, and logic requiring detective skills to meticulously assemble the scattered pieces of elements of different origins like an incomplete puzzle. A perfectionist, armed with unlimited patience and endowed with a keen, observant eye on human history, the author pictorially retraces the decor, the settings, and the subject of this eventful family history.

Throughout the pages...

SCHOOLS

A daughter from Meese participated in the instruction and the foundation extension of the congregation of the Sisters of Mary in Pittem.

Very quickly, it was understood in Pittem that the education of young people was of paramount importance. This notion was mainly put forward by the parish priest, who wanted to educate the young people of the village on a Christian basis and, through catechism classes, to teach them to read, write, and calculate. Thus, he had a wooden and clay school built in the garden of the church in 1622. Between 1651 and 1652, the commune had this basic building demolished and a school worthy of the name built of more solid materials. Religion was the main instruction to give young people a positive conscience; then, reading and writing as well as calculating would complete the program. At the beginning and until 1798, it was religious figures (canons or vicars) who instructed the children and ran the school. The last one was the vicar, Jan Retsin. His son Léo would become an official primary teacher at his death. In 1810, J.-J. Ocktet arrived as reinforcement, helped by his sister Francisca, as he also served as municipal secretary. This school soon took the name of the French school because French, Dutch, writing, and arithmetic were taught there. This school was considered for the intelligent, the quick-witted, and the privileged with financial means.

Of course, the commune was full of small private schools run by village women who taught mainly spinning to girls, but also reading and writing. At least six excellent small elementary schools were operating in the territory.

When we love life, we love the past, because it is the present as it has survived in human memory.

Marguerite Yourcenar